I feel so fortunate that my family has been so supportive and encouraging. My dad got my brakes fixed for me today. It's been over 2 months since I've been able to drive myself around, I can't drive Mike's stick so I've had to ask him to take me everywhere...... it sucks. That's one less thing we need to worry about paying for. Thanks Dad :)

Tomorrow will be a long day. I'll be gone from like 11:00 am to 11:00 pm. I'm meeting my step-mother, Badria for lunch to hear some of her encouraging advise, which always seems to put my mind at ease. Before that I have to drop a CD off at foto1 to get some prints made of Mike's mom's wedding that I've tried to send to them through their website 3 times already with no luck. After lunch I will be going straight to the tanning salon to start my 1st day at the new job (that I'll only have for 2 1/2 weeks). I worked there a couple of years ago, my best-friend, Crystal, works there and she told me I could start back in January but it's taken a lot longer than she expected. I put off telling her I was leaving until after I started the job because I knew she'd be upset that I'm going and not want to get me the job (which I desperately need). It's been so hard not telling her, the closer it's getting the worse and worse I feel. Several times in the past few weeks I've almost just given up all hope of getting the job and just told her, but I didn't. It will be so nice to work with her for a little before I go, I really will miss her so much (she's been my best friend since the 7th grade). I don't know how the hell I'm going to tell her. I haven't worked since Christmas, that's the longest I've ever gone without working, since I got my first job when I was 16. I guess I have kind of been working, helping Mike run his production company out of our home. Anyway, back to my long day, I'll be finishing up by stopping by my sister's right after work to hear her tell my mom and Ray some news they probably won't like but that I already know cause I forced it out of her. That should be fun.

Mike and I drove up north to Frankenmuth a couple of weekends ago to meet my grandparents for dinner. It was really great to spend some time with them. My grandma Shirley gave Mike and I tips on how to live on a budget and told us all about when she moved far away from home for the first time and had no money. They gave us a nice card with some cash inside (very helpful) and I hugged my grandpa for a long time when I said goodbye and kissed his cheek. It makes me sad when I think that I probably won't see them again until next Christmas, I wish I had spent more time with them over the last 2 years.

My grandma Betty also gave me a very nice tip when she paid me for some house work I'd done for her (also very helpful with our cali-fund). She has always been one of the most caring people in my life, always doing so much for all of her loved ones. And of course I can't end this without mentioning the oodles of help I receive on a regular basis from my mom and her extremely generous Ray, financially and any other way you can think of. So to all of my family and friends: I love you so much, you are greatly appreciated.

And now I must go to bed... Michael is calling...... again.
Why is it that everyday he is constantly telling me to "write a blog" and them when I do, he tells me to come to bed? I'll never understand men. Goodnight.

Labels: By Amanda, Family, Mike

I'd just like to say, (getting back to what Mike mentioned in his last entry) that this blog would not have been possible without the encouragement of, fellow respected blogger, Mark Maynard. It was he who suggested to Chuck that we keep a blog to record all of this adventure, and since no one had mentioned that yet, I thought I should. I like to give credit where credit is due. Thanks Mark.



Our house is looking bleak now. I got inspired the other day and started to pack up. I took down all of our pictures and decorations. I cleaned off the fridge and packed up my candles. Everything looks so white now. I piled my car full of stuff and took it to Rynah and Adara's. It feels so much better to give my things away to people who will use them than to just throw them away. Emily and Jenny came over the week before last and went through a bunch of stuff I'd decided to get rid of. They each left with a bag of clothes and three other bags of various stuff from the kitchen and bathroom. They kept trying to convince me to keep everything but I told them I had to get rid of it, and besides, it's not so hard giving it away when I know they're taking it. I'm actually starting to like this purging thing. It feels good. Like I really am making a big change. Not just moving to California, but really starting over. I'm changing so many aspects of my life, of who I am. I'd say it really started just after Christmas, when I had a great discussion with my Dad and Badria about what was holding me back, keeping me from chasing my dreams. I finally admitted, out loud, that I was afraid. My whole life I had been so ashamed of this, I'd never told anyone, not even myself. I used to call it shyness.

It's still hard not to give-in to my fear but I'm not giving up. I'm working on it everyday. There's this book called "the life you were born to live". I used to call it my bible. It really shoves is your face the kind of person you are and the things you need to overcome to be happy with yourself in this life. Next time you're in the book store check it out, it's by Dan Millman. It really is amazing, I've given this book to many of my friends and they all love it.

Mike is begging for me to come to bed so I'll have to finish for now.

Labels: Book, By Amanda, Christmas, Dan Millman, Mark Maynard, Mike

There has been an addition to our group (Mike wrote about this last night). While we were trying to convince Billy to come with us I was only able to see the advantages this would be for me, but now that it actually might happen, I've been a bit worried; thinking about the possible problems this could cause: Four is a lot of people to share one bathroom, one kitchen, one fridge..... And then of course the obvious.... three guys, one girl..... I'm sure I'll feel left out a lot. I'm beginning to feel this is less about Mike and I moving to california (in a way to start a new life together) and more about Chuck, Mike, and Billy setting off on a mission together to make it in the movie biz and I'm just a tag-along. And what if they hate me? Living with an anal neat-freak could be hard if you're a sloppy boy.

Labels: Billy, By Amanda, Chuck, Mike

That is, by far, the best piece of advise I've been given lately (possibly ever).

On Christmas Eve I asked God for courage; I'm getting closer to my dreams everyday, now. I wasn't sure at the time, even what I was asking for, now I think that I have a pretty good idea.

I've told everyone I know and everyone I've met, that I am moving to L.A., since the first time I went to visit my Uncle Thurman there, in the summer of '96. That's been my plan for 7 1/2 years. I guess you could call it more of a dream than a plan; I knew, somewhere in the back of my head, that it might not ever happen. But here I am, less than 6 weeks away, chasing my dreams, confronting my fears. Of course there were so many in the beginning, and everyday I remind myself, that "it's OK to be scared, but brave people do it anyway". And it's working. I know now that my fear cannot hurt me, and that God will not give me anything that I cannot handle.

We search the internet everyday for apartment leads and job openings, we look around for things that we can sell, and we've started packing the things we plan to take. We still aren't sure if we'll be able to come up with all of the money we need, but I know that it will all work out. I am more excited than afraid now, after all, the magic 8 ball says "all signs point to yes", "it is certain"..... the ocean is calling me..... this is my destiny.

Labels: 1st Post, By Amanda, Courage, The Girl