Mark Maynard posted on his website today about our blog. His feelings seem to reflect everyone else's. People wish they could go with us, or wish they did when they had the chance. Yesterday I thought to myself "Hey, I can always join the army if it doesn't work."

My parents are a lot better now about me going. I'm pretty sure they still disapprove, but the talks we have are all typical parent stuff now. "Where are you trying to get a place?" and "Where are you going to try and work?". My dad was actually supportive. I was driving him to the airport and confiding to him my apprehension about the trip. I almost just wanted someone to agree with me and tell me not to go, but he said something like "Wouldn't you regret not trying?" Suddenly I realized, yes. I would regret it.

Quitting my job won't be fun. I'm not looking forward to telling my bosses I'm leaving them. They've promoted me and placed such trust in me. This always happens. I work hard, get a little bit ahead, and regret doing it because of all the extra effort I have to put forward when they finally up the ante. However, it's a small matter. I'll be gone soon and they'll have forgotten within a couple months.

I bought myself a home budget book in order to keep tabs on my spending. I'm going to try and save all of my receipts so that I can see clearly how much I spend on everything. I want to be as responsible as possible in such a chaotic (if not hair-brained) scheme. I'm hoping to put money aside as the months go by to eventually start an IRA for my retirement. I don't mind being a starving artist for a couple decades, but I don't want to die one.

I'll miss springs, summers, and falls in Michigan. I love the leaves and the smell of the seasons. The landscape can be quite beautiful here when it's determined enough. I'm going to miss my family, the tight-knit bunch that we are. I hope I can improve on my ability to write letters and e-mails to let them know how I'm doing. I'll especially miss my sister. I hope she comes to visit me soon.

Well, I'm tired and prone to making typing errors, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. If you're in California and reading this, make sure to keep it warm for me. I'll be there to take my place shortly. Making Michigan yet another erstwhile home.

Labels: By Chuck, Mark Maynard, Michigan

I'd just like to say, (getting back to what Mike mentioned in his last entry) that this blog would not have been possible without the encouragement of, fellow respected blogger, Mark Maynard. It was he who suggested to Chuck that we keep a blog to record all of this adventure, and since no one had mentioned that yet, I thought I should. I like to give credit where credit is due. Thanks Mark.



Our house is looking bleak now. I got inspired the other day and started to pack up. I took down all of our pictures and decorations. I cleaned off the fridge and packed up my candles. Everything looks so white now. I piled my car full of stuff and took it to Rynah and Adara's. It feels so much better to give my things away to people who will use them than to just throw them away. Emily and Jenny came over the week before last and went through a bunch of stuff I'd decided to get rid of. They each left with a bag of clothes and three other bags of various stuff from the kitchen and bathroom. They kept trying to convince me to keep everything but I told them I had to get rid of it, and besides, it's not so hard giving it away when I know they're taking it. I'm actually starting to like this purging thing. It feels good. Like I really am making a big change. Not just moving to California, but really starting over. I'm changing so many aspects of my life, of who I am. I'd say it really started just after Christmas, when I had a great discussion with my Dad and Badria about what was holding me back, keeping me from chasing my dreams. I finally admitted, out loud, that I was afraid. My whole life I had been so ashamed of this, I'd never told anyone, not even myself. I used to call it shyness.

It's still hard not to give-in to my fear but I'm not giving up. I'm working on it everyday. There's this book called "the life you were born to live". I used to call it my bible. It really shoves is your face the kind of person you are and the things you need to overcome to be happy with yourself in this life. Next time you're in the book store check it out, it's by Dan Millman. It really is amazing, I've given this book to many of my friends and they all love it.

Mike is begging for me to come to bed so I'll have to finish for now.

Labels: Book, By Amanda, Christmas, Dan Millman, Mark Maynard, Mike

Amanda and I rented 'IMAX's Everest' from Hollywood Video (since I have unsuccessfully tried to downloaded a DVD rip of it for the past two weeks), I highly recommend it - I think its the first time a documentary has ever brought tears to my eyes.

But the reason I mention it is: the entire time I was watching these three strangers coming together to do something so amazing, it sparked a kind of hopeful confidence that had quietly faded in the past few (boring... suspenseful) weeks. I had lost ahold on that feeling of "this is an adventure/ journey/ challenge/ and I can't doubt myself already - or I'll never last".

But unfortunately Amanda is watching 'Thirteen' now, and the movie is kinda a buzz-kill as far as inspiration goes. Listening to two underage (bitches) teens... bitch,doesn't do alot of inspiring.
I'm only 45 minutes into it and I'm already convinced I never want to have a daughter.

Anyways, enough about that (terrible movie), we got our first comment the other day, by the one and only Mark Maynard from Crimewave USA... it's an honor.

Labels: Amanda, By Mike, Crimewave USA, IMAX, Mark Maynard